**Written June 14, 2017**
Today, I choose to give you all my anxieties. Why should I worry? When you have heard every single prayer that I have prayed concerning marriage. I give it all to you. I command my mind and my body to remain steadfast in the midst of this trial for I know in whom I believe (2 Timothy 1:12). The one who will remain as the God who cares about me so deeply that you would never bring me with anyone who would not truly value me or treasure me. Today I choose you more than anything in this world. Renew my mind in such a way that this world looks dreary in comparison to you (Romans 12:2). Even as I write this prayer it feels like I'm loosing the very fabric of who I am, but I guess this is what death really looks like. Death to self, a place unknown even to myself.
Please hear my cry God as I surrender to you. My will, my desires, my deadlines, and my goals I give to you. I need you desperately!! Please send Angels to surround me for I already feel like I am failing this test (Luke 22:43)!!! Give me the courage to trust you even when it feels like absolutely nothing is happening on my behalf. I rebuke the amount of demonic attacks that I am under and I am so thankful for godly friends that have prayed for me. Clearly I'm on a new level God but strengthen me because a double minded spirit is not pleasing to you (James 1:8)! Help me to fall in love with the purpose you have placed in my heart.