Turn on your TV to your favorite show or turn on your radio and listen to the latest tune it is easy to see that societal standards of dating and courting have deviated from God's intention. Scripture describes romantic relationships as courtship free from pre-marital sex, selfless and God-centered. Society describe romantic relationship as pre-marital sex, selfish and emotionally-driven. Ghosting, tooting and booting, and high # of undetected STDs are just a few of the things that’s developed from this new paradigm shift. The standards of scripture and society conflict. We ourselves in the past dated by the standards of society and constantly found ourselves hurt and broken-hearted. So, we purposed in our hearts at the inception of our relationship we will do it God's way to see if it'll lead to a different and healthier outcome and so far as always God’s way is the best way. Below are 3 ways we have committed to courting God's way:
1. No sex before marriage
“Are you crazy?!” “What?!” “Bro ya bugging!!” Are some of the responses we get when we share to our friends our commitment to celibacy. We are trying celibacy with the intentions of keeping our mind and heart clear from soul ties and deceitful hearty emotions. By spending more time conversing with each other and doing things together outside of the bedroom, we get to know and love each other beyond the sexual realm.
2. Pray together
When you take the time to pray for your mate you have no choice but to be selfless.This took some transitioning and intentional effort because we have never spent substantial time in the past praying for someone we were dating. We try to pray before every meal that we have together and once a week we check-in with each other about new prayer requests.
3. Put in work
We have committed ourselves to read a lot of self-help books, attended conferences and spend one-on-one time conversing with married couples about the symbolism and practicality of being in a Christ-centered relationship. For example, we've both read a book about breaking soul ties from past relationships, we have taken steps to breaking those soul ties in our own lives, and we have discussed our processes of healing with each other. We have faith in each other to grow more into the man and woman that God intends for us to be and we work to do better together.
Numerous millions of broken families began with wrong dating habits. These habits make proper courtship hard. And the results have been tragic. The widespread effects of modern dating demonstrate universal ignorance, even on the most basic points of right dating. Almost no one understands the real purpose of dating or of the courtship that can ensue. As we learn from God’s word there is a right way to date! And there are also right and wrong people to date. It is time to unlearn the wrong principles, acquired from society—and to learn and apply God’s true principles. In this blog, we only scrub the surface by introducing 3 ways that we have committed to courting God's way because each of these practices are deep and labor intensive. If you're interested in learning more about any or all of the possible ways to have a Christ-centered relationship feel free to contact us, we also recommend reading the following books and working on yourself based on the principles communicated in the books and scripture.These resources have helped us in our walk with God and walk with each other.
Books to read:
"The Wait" by Devon and Meagan Franklin
"I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris
"The Love Dare" by the Kendrick Brothers
"This Momentary Marriage" by John Piper
"The Holy Bible" specifically what instructions are put forth regarding dating, marriage, godly womanhood and godly manhood.
The Online Singles Conference by Married and Young Ministry
Pinky Promise Conference and The Man Cave Conference