Posts on my Christian Journey

Note to God - April 5, 2015


I have been so frustrated with the progress of my life. I know that companionship won't cure the loneliness, but honestly it seems like you don't either. I want to be held. I want to be touched. I want to have a man tell me that everything will be alright. Maybe there is something I'm not doing, if that is the case, then show me how to feel whole and complete. I want to try things your way, but I don't feel like you care for my love life the way you care about my career. Sometimes it seems that I will be doomed to the single season for the rest of my life. Sometimes it seems that I serve a God who isn't willing to give me the desires of my heart. I'm sorry that this note isn't filled with love, but I have to be honest about how I feel. It would be nice if I was assured that there is one amazing man out there for me. Just One! I'm trying to give you my all, but I'm human, I get tired and this just seems like a waste of time. As I try to strive for intimacy with you God, I get bombarded with disappointments. All I would like is a "yes" this is the man I have for you. More doors open rather than shut, that's all I'm saying.

Your Daughter,

Crystal Lewis