As I write this blog fear tries to take its hold of me. What will people think of me? Some might say, "Crystal, Pastor Lewis' daughter did that?" Yet these thoughts are silenced as God whispers that His grace is sufficient to cover even my deepest darkest sins.
On Oct. 20th, I attended the Radical Revolution Conference in Bronx, NY where Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts preached on the need to Rescue Eve. In the sermon, she mentioned that God's declaration of enmity between the enemy and the woman was a declaration of victory (Genesis 3:15)! For you see within Eve was Mary who would birth the promise of salvation. As a result, the Devil's worst nightmare is a woman who is in connection with Christ. Yet, Sarah Jakes Roberts pointed out that many times we embrace the Mary who births purpose & hide Eve in a corner.
As she spoke, I thought of the Eve in my life. The one that I'm grateful for, but ashamed of. You see, I was terrified of becoming a SINGLE educated black woman. As a result, I went on many casual dates constantly seeking to quell this fear. Then I met a man on one of my vacations and experienced 7 days filled with adventure & romance. The night before I left, we spoke till 3 in the morning where I asked myself, "could this be the one?" Needless, to say I fell in love (or lust rather). I even wrote to God about how happy I was though we never honored Him in the 'situationship.' As time passed, he would make excuse after excuse as to why he couldn't start a relationship. Yet I operated in my fear and I stayed hoping things would turn for the better. I realized the longer I was with him, the more negative and toxic I became. So much so, that my therapist felt that I was entering his dark world in an effort to protect him. Truth is I stayed because I thought I could change him. I stayed because I thought I was called by God to be his savior (smh). Three times God tried to remove the nail decorated rope I was holding but each time my insecurities gave me the strength to endure more pain. Until one day I saw the truth staring at me on social media. A truth that I suspected but couldn't bring myself to believe. He had someone else.
It was then that I realized how damaged I really was. I felt ashamed of the amount of energy, time, and money I wasted on someone God never intended for me. As I looked in the mirror, I realized I projected a good image of a woman with everything together when in truth I was a hot mess! Yet like the Savior that He is, He took my brokenness, my ugliness and turned it into a beautiful masterpiece (Romans 8:1-2). So today I tell my Eve that God died just for her. I embrace her, I shower love upon her and encourage her about what God has in store. It is the best of me & the worst of me that God has used to birth the God Investors Movement.
So I encourage you to rescue your Eve (or Adam)! Know that your past is forgiven and in Christ you are made new! Walk as Mary but never forget your Eve!
Be Blessed God Investors!